The battle lines had been drawn. The bilious hate had been stirred up. The trash had been talked. But after three hard-fought, back and forth days of golf, no winner was crowned at the Second Annual Battle of Myrtle Beach.
Dixie Normus and the Ace Holes tied, 11 and a half points apiece, after the spirited competition that saw good weather, miraculous shots, surprise appearances and lots and lots of bad golf. The Ace Holes staged a late rally, netting two key points on day three to force the tie.
When asked about his team’s chances going into the final day a focused Rick “Mac” Moran said “It ain’t over yet. They are who we thought they were. But if you want to crown them, go ahead and crown their ass.” When asked if more practice would have helped his Dixie Normus team, an incredulous Danny Marsh replied “We’re talking about practice. Not a game. Practice.”
Ultimately, when the carts were driven away and the dust had settled, both teams seemed resigned to the tie. When asked if there would be some sort of tie-breaking playoff, Ken Preede of Dixie Normus said “Playoff!? Playoff!?”
Golf Results
Day 1 – The International Club (Team Competition)
Ace Holes – 4 Dixie Normus – 1
Day 2 – Heron Point (Doubles, Danny/Erik vs. Rick/Aaron and Ken/Alan vs. Dave/Mike)
Ace Holes – .5 Dixie Normus – 5.5
Score after Day 2: DN 6.5, AH 4.5
Day 3 – Wicked Stick (Singles)
Danny 2.5, Mike .5
Alan 0, Rick 3
Ken 2.5, Dave .5
Erik 0, Aaron 3
Final Score: DN 11.5, AH 11.5
Notes & Quotes
Some excitement was added to Thursday night’s poker match by a visit from our neighbor. The very inebriated gentleman with the savant-like memory and superhuman hearing was more than happy to regale us with tales and references. A few of his gems:
- “It’s James Brown Night.”
- “You all wanna go to the Pink Pony? They only got but one black girl there.”
- “Y’all ain’t gonna call security on me, are ya? I mean, we didn’t call it on you last night…
- ”Something about “ass sideways.”
- “You all got some nice cars down here. You must be from up around Danville.”
- Said Rick (“You in the red shirt”) looked like Mac Davis.
- Ken’s Drew University shirt reminded him of his lawyer, Drew Jackson, who had screwed him out of $28,000.
- “We all should do some hood slidin’ later.”